it wasn't lemon gatorade
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
