I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
