I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
