well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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