so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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