you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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