I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
