Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
