hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
