How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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