we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize