On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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