im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize