You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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