Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
