You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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