At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
