Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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