Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
