erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize