I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
