That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
