1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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