ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
