I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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