she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
