Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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