toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My balls are so social today.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
