I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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