Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
