There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
