you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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