i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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