I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
this will be a night to untag.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize