He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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