I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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