I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize