drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
