I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize