Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
