i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize