I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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