franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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