i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
