You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
vagina is talking i cant
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
