hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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