Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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