dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
