Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
