I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
