well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
