Already got asked if we're dating
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
