can u get pink eye on your cock?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
