those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
