I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
