i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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