It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
