Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
