You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
