yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
accomplished twins. life is a go
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize